Not a Stellar Day

It wasn't a stellar day with regard to eating.  Ugh!  Do you know what is a lame snack?  Pretzels.  They hold no nutritional value, even the carbs don't give me a lift.  Yet, I took them to work anyway.  Dorky!  I know better, but I was too lazy to get some almonds out of the freezer this morning instead.

Speaking of morning, I got up on time to workout, but decided that getting to work early was more important.  Yeah, I'm a winner like that.  So, instead of walking this morning on the treadmill I played some Just Dance tonight with my son.  I think the walk probably would have burned more calories, but the dancing and mother/son time cannot be beat.

Back to my eating, I was starving all day today!!  Usually I have a dish of almonds in my bag at all times just in case, but poor planning made it not so today.  I ate the pretzels before 11:00 a.m. and then had lunch around 12:30, all the while telling myself that I wasn't really hungry when in fact I felt like I was starving!  I had oatmeal with almond butter for lunch (not a fave) and Chobani, along with two mandarins and a banana.  But since I ate my afternoon snack in the mid morning, it was a very long hungry afternoon.  So when I walked in the door from work, where was the first place I headed?  The pantry for more...yep, pretzels.  Lame!  Dinner was chicken chili which is not a bad choice, but what was a bad choice was the macaroni and cheese that I shared with my son.  Grrr!  I'm so mad at myself.  I have the power to avoid these things, yet I don't seem to use it lately.  Why is that?!

I talked with a friend of mine last night, the one who runs 3 times a week and does yoga 3 times a week. She has always been fairly active, but she started running and yoga only last spring.  She's done so well!  She is love, love, loving her workouts.  I, on the other hand, have some great runs, but usually it's after going through a big long talk session with myself about how I should just do it, need to do it, better do it.  It really takes the enjoyment out of it.  So perhaps I'm going about things all wrong. I keep thinking I need a plan to stay motivated and keep focused, but maybe it's the plan that's wearing me down.  Here I am supposed to embarking on a 9-week exercise plan, and I feel like ditching it on day two in favor of flying by the seat of my pants and going with the flow.  Taking an every other day approach or just a Monday, Wednesday Friday run (distance TBD) and something else on the off days.  But then when I think about cutting my runs in favor of variety, I panic a little.  What if the next time I plan to run 5 or 6 miles I can't make it?  Welp, then I better keep doing it at least weekly whether I want to or not.  And then all of a sudden I have that "have to" mentality about it all and I find myself dreading the next one.

I'm just rambling.  I don't know what my plans are for the long term, I guess.  As of now I need to go to bed so I can get up early and run those intervals.  But right now I'm saying I'll run them if I want to.  Otherwise I might just run.  We'll see.

Oh, one more thing, I was also talking with a coworker today who is planning a 50K race in April.  I can't remember how many times she said it's not that far.  Finally I'm like, why do you keep saying that, it's very far!  She's never run that far before, but she has done at least 2 marathons.  She's like it's only about 30 miles.  It so irritates me because here I am saying that 5-6 miles feels like plenty of distance, and that Bloomsday in May is a 12K and might be the farthest I ever run, and she's going on and on about how 50K isn't that far!  Give me a break!  So then I start wondering if 5-6 miles is enough, should I take on at least a half marathon?  And so it goes and goes and goes.

And before I know it I'm eating pretzels and macaroni and cheese and at that very moment I'm thinking that I never want to run again in my life.  What's wrong with me anyway?  I think it's time for bed.  Forgive this post, I think it's the winter darkness getting to me!