Three Things Thursday

1. I watched the movie Country Strong this week and I LOVED it.  I'm currently obsessed with the soundtracks--yes, there are two, and I don't even love country music!  I'm also not ashamed to admit that I now have a huge crush on Garrett Hedlund after seeing this movie.  I actually think I might be a closet cowboy fan.  Oh, who am I kidding, I'm not in the closet!

2. I did not meet my time goal for my run last night.  If you'll recall my goal was 19 minutes for 2 miles, but instead I finished in 19:46.  I am not defeated, though!!  I will try again soon.  Last night I was on the treadmil, next time I will head outside.

3. I am working on putting together a fun giveaway.  A few things have to happen before I announce it, but it's coming together and should happen in the next couple of weeks. 

Control

Yesterday was a day in control and I went to bed feeling GREAT!  I managed my food, even included a lunch out of the office, and then managed to stay satisfied into the evening without eating large amounts of CRAP.  I woke up feeling thin!  As in my stomach didn't feel so overloaded and bloated, and that is a wonderful feeling.

I ran 4.25 miles on the treadmill after work.  I have a plan this week to run 5 days in a row, something I've never done.  My mileage plan for the five days is 3.1, 4, 2, 3.1, and 5-6.  The first two days have gone according to plan and even included a little extra!  I like to go out with a number in mind and then exceed it by just a little to keep myself challenged.

Today I plan a quick 2 miles.  Usual pace has been around 10:20-10:45/mile, but I'm hoping to run 2 miles in 19 minutes or less.  Wish me luck!

If I was a Smurf, I'd be Fickle Smurf.

Remember this post, about how I was saying good-bye to Weight Watchers?  Yeah, that was just last Thursday.  And today, Tuesday, I reactivated my account.  Apparently I'm not ready to sever our relationship.  I'm not sure why.  I feel like it would be so much easier just to count calories, yet I feel like I want to succeed with WW.  I started this journey with WW and it seems like I should finish it with WW. 

As of today I am just over 10 pounds above the lowest weight I've seen on this journey.  And that freaks me out!  I mean, it scares the daylights out of me.  How how how can I have gained 10 pounds when my workouts have been consistent?  Answer: eating too much!  Obviously, right?!  Well, why can't I get it together and knock it off?!  Honestly, I don't know what isn't clicking in the food department these days.

Each day I wake up with a new resolve.  I think about how I will plan my meals and stick to plan.  But inevitably something comes along and I'm derailed.  Sometimes it's a lunch out with coworkers, not too big a deal, but  usually it's something more detrimental, like a big dish of froyo (with toppings) after my Points are already gone for the day, or a bunch of chips, or possibly some popcorn followed up with a few (yes, a few) granola bars.  These choices are costing me and I simply cannot do it anymore.  If I regain the weight I've lost I will surely go crazy.  I cannot go back to that place.

So as fickle is as fickle does, I'm thinking about recanting this decision too.  I really think I want a gym membership again, and I really think I want to go to the gym for some group fitness classes; however, my husband still isn't working and we are facing the end of the unemployment very soon.  If we reach that point, unfortunately we will have to file for bankruptcy.  Remember this?  Yeah, we've been paying the bills, but when the bills exceed the income what else can you do?  Anyway, I'm not sure a gym membership can fit into the new single income budget.  Although an investment into health can be a wonderful thing, right?  And if I went regularly, the cost could be justified.  But I would have to go in the morning, and how many times can I say I am not a morning person?  But I do prefer working out in the mornings and there are some awesome classes available in the morning.  So what do I do?  Luckily I can join without a contract, but I still have to pay the "joiner fee" which is $50, a fee I already paid once only to cancel the membership 7 months later.  $50 can buy a lot of froyo...oh wait, I'm supposed to be cutting that out.

Well, anyway, like sands through the hour glass, these are the decisions of my fickle life. 

Treadmill Run Fun

This morning I ran.  Before work.  Yes, I did it. 

My alarm was set for 6:00, I woke up at 5:30.  You better believe I stayed in bed awhile before getting up.

The conversation in bed went something like this:

Me: I don't want to get up.
Me: I don't feel like running.
Me: I don't want to go outside, I don't care how beautiful it is.
Me: Running is too hard first thing in the morning.
Me: I could run in the treadmill.  The treadmill has movies.
Me: I will run on the treadmill.
Me: I'm now getting up to run on the treadmill.

And so I did it.  And I actually really liked it.  Sometimes the treadmill is where it's at.

3.5 miles, 10:38 pace

An Open Letter to Weight Watchers

Dear Weight Watchers, or as I like to refer to you, "W.W.":

We've spent many years together, but as with many relationships sometimes it's okay to say good-bye and in our case, I think it's time for me to say it.  We've had a good run, from Exchanges to Winning Points, to Flex Points.  Unfortunately, your PointsPlus and me cannot seem to find a happy place together.  I'm not saying there is anything wrong with the new you, it's just that the old me cannot embrace this new you.  I don't want to relearn everything I already know.  I know that my breakfast is worth 6 Points, but now you're telling me it's worth 7 PointsPlus with or without the banana.  While I know bananas are healthy, I think eating one should cost me, or not eating on should benefit me.  Yes, I know a banana is a better choice over a 100 calorie pack of air, but the basic formula for weight loss will always apply.

As it is, I know these things and don't need you to tell me.  I don't need your complicated system in order to keep track of my foods.  I also don't need your system to tell me if I'm hungry or not.  Just because I might have available PointsPlus does not mean I need to use them, it does not mean I am still hungry.  But sometimes I get caught up in your numbers and seeing them makes me "feel" hungry even if I'm not.  Again the problem is not yours, it's mine.

I need to learn to live on my own as I do not plan to pay you $16.95 (or more) a month for the rest of my life.  Yeah, if Iim a lifetime member at my goal weight, I know I can attend your meetings for free, but your meetings are boring and full of old bitties who are just using you for their seniors day out.  I'm sorry there is nothing to be gained from them except what not to wear in old age.

So after all you've done for me, I'm saying good-bye.  I have learned from you, I have much to thank you for.  If not for our relationship which began when I was 14, I might have grown up not knowing the amount of calories in beer and wine.  I might have become a total boozer.  If I didn't know the benefits of exercise which activity exchanges and Points taught me, I might not have always carried the desire to be a runner.  You're still helping people and I will still recommend to my friends, but our time together has come to an end.  I don't know if it will be forever, but I really hope it is.  My life will no longer be lived according to your daily and weekly PointsPlus.  There will no longer be a "weight tracking day".  I shall be free to weigh whenever I want and start over everyday if I want.  I want the freedom.  I bid you adieu and wish you well. 

Take care.
Me

Twenty-Six Servings for One

Anyone familiar with these things?

On my way to the lake on Monday I had to make an unscheduled stop at Costco--definitely not a place to go when you're hungry.  Beings that it was right after work and lunch had been hours ago, I was hungry!  So against my better judgement, and I mean I really thought about whether I should buy them or just walk away, I bought the chips.  Then I proceeded to open the bag in the car, after all, I was hungry and had a 50 minute drive ahead.

Since Monday I have eaten lots of the chips.  This morning when I picked up the bag to pack up I realized there was very little left.  Out of curiosity I decided to check the number of servings in the bag, expecting it to be 12-15.  Um, no.  28!!!  And I kid you not there are probably only 2 servings left.   That means, I have managed to consume 26 servings of pita chips since Monday!

Let me break this down for you.  One serving of the chips is 4 PointsPlus.  Twenty-Six servings is 92 PointsPlus when eaten together, 104 PointsPlus otherwise.  That is seriously whack!  And I have no one to blame but me.

Get it together!

Starting weight: 236.8
Last week's weight: 159.0
Current weight: 162.8
Gain/loss: +3.8
Total gain/loss: -74
Pounds to goal (136.8): 26
Pounds to mini goal (149): 13.8

You might notice the scale moved in the wrong direction again.  I'm seriously and completely down about this.  Yes, I did indulge some over the weekend, but to gain that much?  And I'm not even going to mention the lower numbers I saw on the scale last week.  During the week, I was actually rocking a loss for the week.  I'm discouraged.  It seems like my system is utterly sensitive to salt in which any amount of it causes every cell in my body to suck up all the water I've consumed (yet I still pee ALL THE DAMN TIME!)  It's frustrating!

As for my workouts, I reached my 15+ miles as of last night.  I crapped out and didn't run Saturday before leaving for the lake so I had to do it last night upon arriving home from the lake.  I also went out there again this morning for just under 4 miles.  We are heading to the lake again this weekend so I am hoping to get all my miles in by the end of Friday's run so I don't have to haul my running gear with me or plan a run for Sunday evening.  With my schedule this week it means I'll have to run Mon-Wed-Thurs-Friday which I don't love (three days in a row).  But I can do it if driven.  Where the strength training will fit in is unknown at this time.

I had the nicest comment on my blog Saturday which really made me feel good about sharing my journey with all of you.  But after such a craptastic week and another stupid gain, I feel guilty.  I want to be the person that inspires others, the person who succeeds.  After all, this is supposed to be a weight loss blog.  I know it's only me who is putting the pressure on me, but I know what it's like to read blogs where the author starts gravitating from what was supposed to be the whole point of the blog.  I don't want to be one of those bloggers who loses site of the finish line, who never quite does what they set out to do, and who starts floating along in limboland.  And I certainly don't want to waste anyone's time by blogging about limboland, including my own.  I need and want to keep moving forward for everyone, especially me! 

Sorry, this isn't a pity party; I'm just stating what many are probably thinking: she needs to get it together.

Get it together!

August: First week in review

Starting weight: 236.8
Last week's weight: 162.6
Current weight: 159.0
Gain/loss: -3.6
Total gain/loss: -77.8
Pounds to goal (136.8): 22.2
Pounds to mini goal (149): 10

I do despise the scale sometimes.  Yesterday the scale said 156.6 and today 159!  I did eat salty pizza and breadsticks yesterday so I know that's what did it.  Pffft!  I didn't go over my weekly points, and I didn't use any of my activity points, so I had a successful week.  My official weight loss for the week is 3.6 pounds which is GREAT. 

My exercise for the week was really good.  I logged 15.08 miles of running and 3 miles of walking.  I also completed a little weight training, something I hope to do more of and write a separate post about.

Week one of my August is a success and I am really happy about it.  I have made peace with evening workouts for now.

Spokane Indians 8K Pennant Race Recap

This report is late because it took longer than a week for the official results to be posted. 

Anyway, this race was on July 23rd, just 6 days after my half marathon.  It was a race that I participated in last year so I knew the ropes, so to speak.  I checked the start time online and planned to arrive at 7:30 which would give me time to get my packet, use the potty, and then line up for the 8:00 start.  I was disappointed to find out it was the kids race which started at 8:00, and the 8K started at 8:30.  So I did what anyone else would do, I moved my car from a pay lot to a free lot, and then sat around waiting, after I peed, of course.

It was an absolutely beautiful day and the sunshine was wonderful.  It was fun to watch the kiddos take off on their run with Otto, the Indians Mascot, and Ronald McDonald.  (This race benefits the Ronald McDonald House.)  Waiting for the start really wasn't too bad.

When we lined up to start (quite a small group) I had the following thought: I just ran a half marathon so this 8K will be cake!  Then I started running.  And for some reason it really wasn't all that fun.  I missed Brandy, my running partner from the half, and I felt a little lonely.  Luckily this race route is on the Centennial Trail which follows the Spokane River so the scenery is quite beautiful.  I tried to focus on that instead of my boredom.

All in all this race went well except that I didn't feel super strong like I was hoping I would.  My legs actually felt really heavy, and I felt super slow.  I actually felt like was struggling around mile 3.  Yikes!  Luckily I kept running.  There was a fairly small turnout for this run and the paths weren't crowded which is really nice on an out and back course. The water stations were good and had plenty of water, and I also wore my hydration belt just in case.

 My time goal was to beat last year's time of 55:54, but I really wanted to run a sub 50.  I kept watching my Garmin time and all along I thought I would do it, until the last mile when I knew I better punch it or fall short.

So I punched it, at least I thought I did. In review of the mile splits later, there was really no punching at all.  All the same, by the time I reached finish line I was ready to stop.  And when I came upon the clock, I was disappointed to see 50:??.  I totally didn't catch the seconds and when I saw my official time last Monday of 50:04, I was still disappointed.  Yes, I beat my time from last year, but if I just could have shaved 1 measly second off each mile, I'd have made my goal of under 50 minutes.  Oh well, there's always next year, right?

The downside of this race was that I was there all by myself.  I showed up alone, I ran alone, and I went home alone.  I didn't even take the obligatory self photo because I didn't even think about it.  While I'm glad to have supported the Ronald McDonald House, it was a fairly lonely event.  And I could have gone out to run my own 8K in the neighborhood for a lot less hassle.  But I like having events on the schedule, so even though I had to go alone, it still feels good to have participated.

As a bonus, part of your fee includes a ticket to the Spokane Indians baseball game that same evening.  My family and I went to that which was a lot of fun, and really cool to see all the people wearing their race shirts!  I didn't wear mine, though, it's a hideous color of yellow!  The Indians lost the game, but there was a spectacular fireworks show after the game, and I love me some fireworks.

One final point: the winner of this race had a finish time of 25 minutes and some seconds.  He was honored at the game and received a prize.  A baseball bat.  I mean, that's it.  I'm not sure I'd have been happy with just a bat.

Buh-Bye July, Welcome August!!

I don't really want to rewind July because other than my half marathon (which was freaking awesome), the rest of the month in terms of my goals was not stellar.  And the scale shows it:

Starting weight: 236.8
Last week's weight: 161.0
Current weight: 162.6
Gain/loss: +1.6
Total gain/loss: -74.2
Pounds to goal (136.8): 25.8
Pounds to mini goal (149): 13.6

(In my defense, the scale showed 160 this morning so that's 2.6 down from yesterday!  I'm sure it was the salt on Sunday again.  Too much salt = my enemy.)

Briefly, in July I ran 54.43 miles and gained 3 pounds.

But August is here and I have some goals.  First of all, August is my month!!  My birthday is in August and, therefore, I love August!  So it seems fitting that I set some big goals for August.  Setting goals, achieving goals, that's what I'm doing here.  Dur.

So I declare that in August, I want to lost 10 pounds from my August 1st weight.  August first I weighed 162.6 and today I weigh 160 so that means I'm already 2.6 pounds to my 10 pound goal.  I don't think a goal of 10 pounds for the month is too lofty at all!

My next goal for August is to run 70 miles.  That is also not too lofty in that I ran over 70 miles in June.  I actually have all my runs planned out for the month and I am really excited about it.  I am going back to a Mon-Wed-Fri-Sat running schedule with long runs on Friday.  I still have two 10K races on my schedule along with that little treadmill run on 11/11/11.  I want to keep running long runs to stay strong.  I might throw a tempo or interval run in there sometimes too.

So I think these goals are realistic, and I am excited about this month.  So let's get this party started.