Don't think, just do!

I'm back.  You didn't know I was gone, did you?  Well, I've kind of been laying low and now I'm going to get back online.  But what does that mean?  Hmmm, I'm here with my stats, first.

Starting weight: 236.8
Last week's weight: 157.4 (actually May 24, last check in)
Current weight: 159.4
Gain/loss: +2.0
Total gain/loss: -77.4
Pounds to goal: 22.6

You may notice that I've gotten even farther (further?) from my goal.  Argh!  I'm not too concerned only because I've been weighing anywhere from 156 to 159 for the past month.  It's just that nothing is clicking with me right now.

As for my training, well I posted about that here, and it hasn't really gotten any better.  I'm now wishing I could just get this event over and done with.  I'm looking forward to it, but I'm ready for it to be done.  July 17th can't get here fast enough, although I hate wishing that because it's like wishing the summer to go faster. 

I'm ready to get back to my regularly scheduled running.  My best friend visited over the weekend.  She has also been running for about a year and she is doing awesome.  She really got me to thinking about how much I just miss my fitness runs.  An easy 5K a few times per week sounds excellent right now.  I have always thought that I want to become a "5 mile runner", but now I think I'm a 5K runner. I like that distance.  You have time to warm up, run, cool down, and then still do some good stretching afterwards, and still complete all of it in well under an hour.  It feels easier to add in some other activities with that distance as well.  For some reason I've had it in my head that if I'm not doing 15-20 miles a week, I'm not doing enough.  I don't know where that idea came from, but that's what I've been stuck on.  But what if I did some biking or swimming, some strength training, and some running?  Maybe only 12 miles a week, or even less?  That should be okay, shouldn't it?  I'm trying to get to a place where that feels okay.

I really need to add in some other activities.  I wouldn't say I'm getting bored with running, but I do need some additional exercises to start shaping this body.  Running is not enough.  I never thought it was, but I wasn't really ready to add anything else.  Now I feel more ready.  My friend is doing Zumba and yoga which she loves and I would like to add in something like that too.  Whether it's a class or in my basement, I just need to do it!  Do it!  Do it!  Don't think, just do!  Right?

As for my weight, I still have my goal weight set at 136.8, but right now, my mini-goal is 149.  Once I reach that number, I'm going to evaluate how I feel about where I am at.  I have been down to 152 and now I'm back up to 159 and quite possibly the 130s are too low for me.  I try not to get too fixated on a number (say 15-20 miles a week, for instance), but in my heart I know I am not happy being in the 150s so I'm not ready to change my goal yet.  But I might settle for a 90 pound loss instead of 100.  Of even an 86 pound loss.  I just want to get out of the 150s, a place I have been since November!  It's kind of freeing to think about actually, that I might find a weight that I am happy with that's not just about a number, but also about how I feel.  I have never taken the time to think about that part of it, I've always been fixated on a number.  I do believe my original goal weight was 145, but then I decided it would be fun to lose 100 pounds and changed it to 136.8.  I gotta tell you, though, 145 sounds good right now.

Size is becoming a huge thing to me, as in clothes sizes.  I wanted to wear a size 8, but I think I am okay with a size 10.  What I'm not okay with is the muffin top midsection!!  I bought some capris at American Eagle the other night, size 10.  They fit, but they are very snug in the waist!  I know some bloggers who outweigh me by 30+ pounds who are still smaller than me!  But they are very active in all around fitness activities (running, cross training, strength training) when all I do is run.  That is why I feel really ready to add in some other activities.  I might firm up and lose inches even if I don't lose 100 pounds.  145 or 149 might feel terrific if I were several inches smaller.  The only thing that can make that happen is me, and I need to take the steps and get it done.

I've learned that I can be a solitary runner (except for long runs and that's another post), but I think I need group fitness classes.  Whenever I try and start something in my basement, I quickly lose interest because it gets mundane and boring, even after 2 sessions.  Currently I don't know anyone I can work out with, but perhaps if I rejoin a gym, or find some community fitness activities, I can meet some people. I just cancelled my gym membership in February because I didn't think it was for me, but I've really been digging deep lately into just what my ultimate goals are and how I can achieve them.  Is a gym the way to do it?  I'm deciding.

I'm also still working on my workout schedule.  Morning?  Evening?  Both?  This morning was my first day back at work after a week of being on pseudo-vacation (i.e., not having to come to the office but keeping up with email and a couple projects).  We were out to dinner with friends last night and I had a few things to take care of when I got home so I didn't get to bed until after 11:30.  This means a morning run is doomed.  This late night stuff happens way too often.  That means after work I'll have to run.  And of course I'll HAVE to because of this training thing, and having to really makes me cranky.  I don't want to HAVE to!  Oh, I can't wait until this half marathon is over.

So there you have it.  Still here, still trying, still thinking more than doing.