A Last Ditch Effort

Here I sit before you back in Twoterville.  200.8 lbs this morning.  Remember this post?  I certainly do. 

But I can't go back, I can only go forward so here I am laying it all out there AGAIN.  I have updated the badge on this blog to show pounds to goal instead of pounds lost.  That's the number I need to focus on.

I'm moving forward from today.  Is today different?  Is today the day that everything comes together for me?  I don't know.  It feels like a good day, I feel motivated to begin.  But I know I have felt this way before.  Only time will tell.

I still cannot decide to make the break from Weight Watchers.  I don't know why.  It's like a crutch or something.  And then there's that desire I have to be a featured success story, or at least apply!  If I cancel my membership, am I cancelling that dream?  It's not as if that dream is giving me a whole lot of motivation these days so cancelling shouldn't make too much of a difference.  I guess it's just the idea of it.  I seem to have the inability to make a decision on this subject.  Ugh!

I have a funeral to go to in the coming days, and my cousin is getting married next month.  I, of course, have nothing to wear.  Do I buy something that will serve both purposes, or do I buy two things.  Do I buy something for the funeral now, and wait until closer to the wedding to buy the outfit for that?  Like maybe I'll be thinner then...

In other news, my hair is falling out!  Not in clumps, but I'm definitely shedding way more than I used to and I can see my scalp way more than I could before.  Even my hairdresser noticed!  I went to the doctor to rule out any deficiencies or thyroid issues and all is well.  Of course, I want to be healthy, but I want an answer to this hair loss.  The only other explanation is stress.  My doctor said that hair loss in relation to a stressful even usually occurs 3-6 months after the event.  Well, this shedding has been going on for awhile now, probably 3 months.  So all timelines point to the fact that it could be related to the stress of my husband returning to work, my returning to the bad place, and also switching up medications that I have taken for years.  I have since quit taking one (about 4 weeks ago) that "could" attribute to the issue.  Nothing is really concrete in that regard.  What is certain is that I'm freaking out!!  My hair is the one constant in my life.  My weight can go up and down, but my hair has always been my best feature.  At my heaviest weight ever, I still received compliments on my hair.  And now it's falling out!  So that's just something else to stress about!  It could also be the major dietary change I've made over the last 9 or so months.  Less nutrion, way more junk.

So, today, for the sake of my hair, I'm making another last ditch effort to get back on track.  (I don't know if it's "last ditch" if you keep doing it over and over, though.)  I know that if I was running and eating better, I would feel better.  That would descrease my stress level.  We have settled into being a two-working-parent family again, and while I still stress a bit over child care, it's not like it was 6-9 months ago.  School is starting soon, but I'm trying to remain calm and worry free about that.  I just want to focus on me right now.  There are three weeks left of summer!  That's hardly any time at all.  My son is away at camp this week so these first couple days of cutting out the junk should be easier when I only have to worry about me (my husband doesn't get dinner when my son is gone, LOL.)  So that's the plan.

I'm also making a last ditch effort with this blog.  My URL renewal is in October so I need to decide if I still want to whine blog about my weight issues for all the public (okay, very few public) to read about.  I haven't been very active in reading other blogs even though I know I find lots of inspiration from others.  So perhaps if I get back to doing the things I know how to do, and know are good for me, I can get back to inspiring others too.  My story can be about someone who was sick of being obese, lost 85 lbs and became a runner, gained 49 lbs and became a couch potato, and then lost 55 lbs all the while becoming a runner again.

I hope it's more than just a story.  I hope it's my life.  My health matters.

A Magical Night!

My friend and I saw Magic Mike last night!  It was so fun!  We were giggling and covering our faces a lot!  I highly recommend this movie for a fun night out with girlfriends.

What does that have to do with weight loss?  Well, I didn't have any popcorn or snacks! 

I absolutely love going to the movies and having all kinds of treats with me.  From M&Ms and (diet) soda, to popcorn and Skittles.  YUM!  I have been in the habit over the past few months of visiting Walgreens for theater candy and then buying popcorn and Diet Coke at the concession.  Last night I ate a nice little salad for dinner and then besides my Diet Coke, I didn't get anything to eat at the movie!  I can't say I didn't miss it, but my friend had popcorn and it actually didn't smell that good so it made me feel better.  (Am I the only one that notices the smell of microwave and movie popcorn is kind of gross if you're not actually eating it?  That reminds me, I need to check out air poppers.)

This is not to say I will forgo the treats everytime, because I do love me some movie popcorn (sans butter flavoring), but for the time being, I think it's best to stick to my daily caloric goal and avoid it.

As for calorie counting with My Fitness Pal yesterday, all was well.  The only think I don't like about the database of items is that it is so extensive that every search brings up so many matches, it can be hard to choose the one to use.  Also, I've noticed the calorie counts are not always accurate for all items, especially with fruit and nuts.  So if you're thinking about using this program for tracking, just beware that not every entry is correct.  Once you sift through and choose the ones that work, they will be available as recently used items which makes it quite convenient.  Although, I haven't figured out how to get rid of the recently used incorrect items which I have accidentally chosen on occasion.

Anyway, that's the story for today.  Enjoy the 4th and see Magic Mike if you're looking for a good time!

What say you?
Do you love movie popcorn? Or can you easily avoid it?  Do you like the butter flavoring?

I used to love getting the buttery, greasy goodness on my popcorn, but I avoided eating it for many years when I was younger because I was either dieting, or too cheap to buy it when we went to the movies.  When I finally tried it again one day, it totally made my stomach hurt!  Nowadays I don't even want it.  Sometimes if I share popcorn with a friend and they want it, I'll compromise, but it always makes my stomach feel a little sick.

Week 1 TBL: Success!

I lost 3.2 lbs this week!  I consider that a success.  I didn't exercise, but I did eat very well and the scale shows it.  I think I would have been down more had I not had a little bit of an off day yesterday.  Nothing too terrible, just a couple (5!) too many granola bars.

Last week I didn't follow any particular plan, I didn't count Points or calories, and it worked for me.  BUT I don't think it will always work for me because I like having the definitive "on plan" day when it comes to losing weight, especially with this challenge at work.  I want to be able to look at the week and KNOW that I was on plan.  If you've read my blog these last couple of years (if so, thank you!) you know that I have gone back and forth about Weight Watchers and that I have never embraced their new plan (I guess it's not new anymore since it was introduced in November 2010).  I've also gone back and forth about whether I should do the online plan or go to meetings.  As I sit here today, I am still wondering what I should do.  Part of me wants to see it through with Weight Watchers, but part of me thinks just counting calories is the best right now.  Not to mention FREE.  I really like using My Fitness Pal online and on their iPhone app.  It makes logging calories super easy, especially when your food has a bar code.  While most of my food is not prepackaged, their database of items is very comprehensive.

I calculated a typical day on Weight Watchers for 29 Points and the same foods came out to 1,443 calories (my limit has been 1,500).  This calculation shows me that either option of Points or calories should get me to my goal if I stick to my daily allowance.  It's just a matter of choosing a plan now.  And can I let go of Weight Watchers completely?  You see, since January of 2010 I have been an active online, meetings, or etools subscriber.  Over the many years of trying to follow this plan, I have built up quite a database of favorite foods and recipes.  I'm not sure I want to let all that go, but I'm also kind of tired of paying for something too!  I think the time has come that either let it go, or go back to meetings.  Otherwise, it's not worth it to pay for something I can do online for free (track food).  I don't use the site for anything other than tracking so it's not as if I'd be losing all kinds of resources.

So typing all this out has brought me closer to thinking that counting calories is what I should do. So that's what I'll do today.  Tomorrow?  We'll see.

Does anyone use My Fitness Pal?  Do you love it?  Do you have any tips or tricks?  What other sites have you tried?

I have also used Livestrong and SparkPeople.  Both are great options, but the iPhone app for MFP is way better in my humble opinion.  One thing I'll point out is that I haven't used any of the applications for tracking exercise so I have no idea how it even works.