Something is amazing to me. Right now I feel like crap. Isn't that amazing? Okay, that's not the amazing part. The amazing part, and my amazing, I mean devastatingly terrible, is that when I reached this same weight on my way down, I felt fantastic. Now that I've reached this weight on my way up, I feel craptastic! It's an amazing perspective, although, I could do without having experienced it. :(
Today I ran on the treadmill. I planned two miles and I finished two miles. The speed was okay and I felt okay, but my body is definitely not where it was. My lungs have definitely lost some of their stamina, but my legs felt pretty good. I plan to run another two tomorrow. Here's hoping that happens!! I am in control.
I was not, however, in control last night. Well, it actually started in the late afternoon. Long about 4:00 it became apparent that I would be working late into the evening and since I didn't prepare for that I had no extra food with me. I was already starving. I made it all of about 15 minutes after the realizing before I was digging into the bagels in the office kitchen. I'm not going to even tell you all that I ate between about 4:30 and 11:30 last night (I finally left the office at 9:45). The last thing I ate was part of a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds. I poured the bowl, added the milk and then beached myself upon the couch. I was going to take some time to find a picture of myself for my son's school project so I started perusing the options, and then I found this one:
That there is the 75 pound coat (my other cat, not Tucker; she's not really allowed on the bathroom counter) and me with skinny thighs! OMG, seeing the picture and remembering how I felt when I took it had me putting the bowl of cereal down quickly. I ended up dumping about 90% of down the disposal.
I wonder if putting that picture everywhere I go would keep me from picking up the cereal in the first place? Thinking about it is certainly helping me today. The truth is in the run.
O I totally have to do that... take a pic of when I felt good about my body and post it in the bathroom or somewhere I will see it often (haa maybe on the fridge door!) Im struggling with being in control... I feel like everything in my life is controlling me... thanks for this post because I think posting a picture of myself somewhere can help me "stay in control" xx Jess @
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