2/21

Today's weight 165.2 (-.4)

I consider yesterday a success despite the fact that I didn't workout.  I ate well and feel a lot better today!  Last night I went to bed with a headache which made sleeping difficult, but I know it was my body's way of letting me know it wasn't yet on board with the new eating plan.  Well, Body, that's too bad!  Luckily I woke up headache free!!  I woke up at 5:27, all on my own without an alarm, but you better believe I didn't get up and exercise.  No, I got up to journal and drink coffee instead.

My head and heart are weighed down by my husband's job thing.  We've been living in Limboland for over two years now, but when there is an actual job consideration, it's about 100 times worse.  The waiting is a killer and I know I feel extra exhausted this week because of it.  I'm having a hard time sleeping at night and feeling rested in the morning.  I can't seem to turn off my mind.  If he gets the job, there'll be lots of planning to do, and if he doesn't get it, we'll keep calm and carry on, right?  I worry most about the latter because I know what a drain it will be for my dear husbad.  Neither scenario warrants much thought at this point, however, because the outcome is unknown.  No matter how much thinking I do, it won't change the outcome.  So instead I just think about when they'll call, if they'll call, why they haven't called, when they're gonna call, what if they don't call, how cool it would be if they did call (with good news, of course), and so on and so forth.  You get the picture.  I've also been praying a lot.  But I'm exhausted by that too.  How many times can I ask for something I have no control over?  I've told God that I know it's up to him, I've given it over to him.  We want this to be the opportunity that knocks, but if it isn't we're supposed to assume it wasn't the right one.  I've acknowledged all that.  All I can do it hope for the grace and strength to deal with whatever happens.  But I'm thought out, I'm prayed out, and I'm exhausted.  This could be the longest week in the history of weeks!

Anyway, I plan for another good day today.  I had my yummy English muffin with peanut butter this morning, and I packed a healthy lunch and snack options for the day.  We've been buying Clif Kid Z Bars for my son and I tried one yesterday which was YUMMY, way better than the Nature Valley Trail Mix bar I had been planning to eat.  They are each 3-4 points each and the ones we bought have 3 grams of fiber and 3 grams of protein in each.  It's not a huge amount, but it's okay.  I can't justify a snack bar that has more than 4 points so these are good.  They're not cheap, but we bought them at Costco.  And what's money anyway?  Just green colored paper that floats in and out of our life like snow.  (Points to whomever gets the movie reference.)

Well, I'm off for another day.  It's nearly time for snack number one.  Oh boy!